What is the INFJ Door Slam?

The INFJ door slam is when an INFJ has had enough abuse and decides to cut a person out of their lives. In essence, they slam the door on that person and that relationship.

Like magic. Presto. Now you see it, now you don't.

Often, this is permanent, but a door slam can be reversed. I still say that there is something lost there though, the respect the INFJ has for a person they have door slammed is less than it was before.

But that raises the question, is the information online about the INFJ door slam accurate?

Well, in my opinion, the information online about this topic is hit or miss. Sometimes the author promotes the door slam as some kind of tantrum by the INFJ, which simply is not true.

Other times they imply that it is some kind of "dark side" trait. A genuine INFJ door slam is anything but dark.

In reality, the ability to door slam people is a huge blessing for the INFJ. Let me explain...

The Abusers

You see, there are many toxic and abusive people in the world. These people are looking for people to take advantage of. We'll call these people the abusers.

The INFJ

INFJs, on the other hand, love to help people. They are always aware when others need help and will give their heart and soul to help them.

When the INFJ and the abuser meet a strange connection forms. First, the abuser thinks they have found someone to prey on (boy are they wrong).

Second, the INFJ begins to try to help this broken person. As the relationship develops the abuser begins taking advantage of the INFJ.

The INFJ knows this but continues in their efforts to help the abuser. However, eventually, the INFJs cup gets full.

They have had enough of the abuse (and the abuser). It's at this point that the INFJ door slam occurs.

As you can see, this is not a dark trait. The INFJ has been more patient than 99% of people ever would have been!

They have tried and tried to help this person. So, the door slam is not selfish, it's self-preservation. I discuss this in more detail at the end of this YouTube video.

One of the worst abusers of the INFJ is the narcissist, which I have written about here.

To wrap this up, if you are an INFJ, please, please don't be afraid to door slam abusers and bullies.

Sometimes, it's your only option.

nil desperandum

-Jay Scott